Happy Birthday, Grandpa! Maya and Zoe were excited to sing you "Happy Birthday" this morning with the web cam. Zoe insisted that we had to go out to dinner tonight to celebrate this "special day." So we had clams in your honor!Grandpa certainly has a special place in the girls' hearts. When Zoe first started noticing that her family lacked a daddy, I have to admit I was a little unprepared. I had researched every possible adoption question and had prepared answers for all of it -- why did my birthmom place me for adoption? what's the one child policy in China? don't they like girls in China? I was READY! But somehow it didn't occur to me that the FIRST thing she'd ask about was the daddy question -- why don't I have a daddy? Duh! Of course that would be the first thing she noticed!
I wanted to answer, "Can you wait about three weeks, kid? I need to order some books on the subject from Amazon.com!" But instead I said, "Because I'm not married." That seemed to satisfy her, and I was satisfied since I came up with an aswer that made it about me, not about her.
Then we started talking about different kinds of families, and what our family had, instead of what it didn't have. Soon she was saying, "I don't have a daddy, but I have a Mimi and a Grandpa and an Aunt Kim and an Uncle Phillip . . . . " Then the story became, "I don't have a daddy. But I have a Grandpa, and he's LIKE a daddy, and sometimes Mimi calls him daddy." And that's pretty much satisfied her even to this day.
Remember that baby Zoe was planning to adopt last night? Well, today she decided she needs to get married first (watch out, Isaac!) because the baby won't have a Grandpa since I'm not married. So if you don't have a grandpa, you better scrounge up a daddy, it seems!
So, thanks, Grandpa, for being LIKE a daddy for Zo-Zo and May-O!
2 comments:
The "because I am not married" is what I use when Glenys asks too. I adopted Glenys as a single in July 2005. Was hoping to one day return but alas, China is closed. Maybe we will go to Vietnam for a mei mei. Cute kids you have by the way.
Beverly & Glenys
Aaah, just goes to show smarts aren't all genetics! Zoe thinks through not only the "rule" but how different facts apply to it. Given your classes in women and the law, I suppose that you have pondered why Zoe thinks having a daddy or a grandpa who is like a daddy is important to her someday child?
What a delight to share in these conversations through your blog.
Heidi Whitaker
TWU 2006
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